What I learned while making pancakes

Ok, so it's not really what I learned while making pancakes. But it's what God showed me about Himself and myself while I was out at IHOP (International House of Prayer) in Kansas City. I'm just now sharing it because I came across this journal entry the other day while cleaning out my room and my friend wanted a copy. So I thought I'd share it with you all as well....

He is zealous or me. He wants me. He is a fierce warrior fighting for me to have right thinking and tearing down every thought that stands contrary to the truth of who He is. He longs for me to see Him rightly because He wants perfect, unhindered fellowship/community with me. He wants me to have no barriers in receiving His love because He wants me to fully enjoy His love. He wants me to completely enjoy Him and have no offense in my heart. He has been faithful to me. Faithful to bring me from glory to greater glory. He who began a good work is faithful to complete it. He is the Faithful Witness- never ceasing to reveal His truth to my heart. He has been doing this my whole life. Tearing down lies and revealing truth. He has brought me from San Francisco to Mexico to Hawaii to Africa to Australia to Redding to Kansas City to show me His heart. To show me His goodness towards me, His unending love, His mercy, the power of his blood, His fierce zeal, even in my weakness, but knowing that I love Him and want more of Him and desire to always have a “yes” in my heart towards Him.
And I am not second class in the kingdom of God. He desires me. He does not withhold Himself from me! He does not favor others more than me. He longs to have me see Him rightly. To see Him for who He really is – not just for who I think He is and who I have let circumstances and people tell me who He is. He wants to reveal His true self. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The God who made Himself a man to come and serve and stand as a Silent Lamb to be slaughtered for my sins because of love and mercy- to make a way for us to be together. The God who strengthens me to stand until the day I see Him face to face. The God who rightly judges the earth. The God who I will be with forever and ever and ever. The God hears me and moves at the sound of my voice. Oh He is an intimate God, who lives in me. I am not beyond God. I am not too much for God. I and my problems are not bigger than God. I am His bride, with love, tho weak, for Him and He constantly “goes again” to me. Comes and woos me with fireflies and grassy hills and sunrises and His sweet Presence and reminders of His goodness, mercy, love and faithfulness to me. He is the God who let John rest upon His bosom and whispered secrets to. The God who gallops on the mountains of my fear; who takes me to run with Him. I am humbled that He hears me and answers my cries – cries from even years ago. That I long to be a vessel of unhindered love. That I may receive His love without hindrance and freely pour out His love to others. He is taking me on a good, good journey cause He is a good, good God and this journey is with Him and bringing me closer to Him. Oh and one day He will be my Sunshine. For in that City we will have no need for the sun… for He will shine on us.

The Call

I wrote this right when I got home from being at The Call....

Here is some of my processing from being at The Call: A man gets up and shares about the sex slave trade. How back in the days of the civil war, abolitionists would hold up the chains of slaves to show the people what was going on....that they could no longer turn a blind eye to it. The atrocity was staring them in the face. The man who was sharing with us had asked his friend who works in tearing down brothels if he had a modern day relic he could show of the current sex slave trade industry. He said they just raided a house and he had some clothes of one of the sex slaves but didn't know if he could use them cuz they were still bloody from the abuse. But he gave them to this man and he held them up for us to see. I was expecting to see some kinky, strapy, black leather outfit of a grown woman. What I saw will forever be marked in my mind and etched on my heart. He held up a blue and white polka-dotted shirt and matching pants. As he held up the pants I was able to see the size of them. They were tiny!! Clothes for a 3 year old, maybe four years. What went through my mind was, "Anna could wear those". Anna is my friend's daughter. I call her my "asian mini me", with her curly brown hair. I could not imagine Anna being abused. But the girl who wore those clothes was somebody's Anna. And she being hurt, being used.
He called us to pray. Pray that God would break in and bring freedom and salvation. Jesus is our only hope.We faced the cross and cried out for mercy and pleaded the blood of Jesus over our sins and the sins of the sex traffickers. Oh God, end the sex slave trade! I was called to my knees and brought to tears and groanings. I was broken. My tears were dripping down my face, on to the grass lawn in front of the Capitol Building in Sacramento. As my tears hit the ground, I imagined them weighing a million pounds and when they hit ground shook. The shaking went across America and all the way around the world; it made the sex traffickers stumble with fear. I heard thousands of saints crying out for mercy.
And I heard the voice of the Lord:
"I can't help but move".
He is more broken than we are, more broken than we can ever imagine. He has longed for this partnership in intercession. He hears our cries; He moves at the sound of our voice. He can't help but move. The Father is overcome. It's like He can't even have self control in this situation- He had to act. I know we changed the course of eternity.
I know someday (if you can use time references like "days" in eternity) a lil girl from southeast Asia; Cambodia or Thailand perhaps, is going to come up to me and thank me. Thank me for releasing the hand of God thru intercession. That because when I prayed on Sept 5 at 11am, in Sacramento on Capital Hill, things shifted, things changed, things were set into motion to free her from being sexually abused. Her bonds will have been broken and she will come to the saving knowledge of God's love for her.

I have never experienced anything more powerful in my life. I went to battle this weekend with thousands of other saints. We changed history. And I am exhausted.

First blog ever.

I just need so much more of Jesus. I need His grace and I need more of truth to penetrate my being and make me more of who I am created to be. I struggled with my "JennDrumm-ness" since I have been out to KC. There is something about meeting new people that makes me feel like I need to conform to how they are so I can fit in and feel accepted.
I love how when I bring something to Jesus (like the previously mentioned issue) He takes it and speaks to me and fills me up. He tells me how I am His and so valued and that I should never devalue myself.
I want that ingrained in me. I know that this week I will be meeting a lot more people, as the actual internship doesn't even start til Wednesday, and I want to walk confidently in who Jesus has made me to be.
I want to not walk in insecurity, but boldly, being a blessing and a vessel of His love to those around me.
So, if you read this, shout up a prayer for me. Much appreciated. Love you all.